THE ID OF A 13 YEAR OLD BOY SHOULD NOT BE WRITING COMICS ABOUT WOMEN

A lot has been written about the depiction of Catwoman and Starfire in the new DC Universe.  I've been trying to decide what to say about these books for the last week or so.  I wanted to read them for myself first and then, wanted to give it some time to sink in so I could figure out how to put into words what I think of them as well as review the books themselves.

I think I can sum them both up in two words: PANDERING CRAP.

Let's start with Catwoman, shall we?  I'm starting here mostly because this is the LESS offensive of the two books and that's saying something when the cover looks like a pinup from a men's magazine or some fan art horny guys would buy at a convention for some ridiculous price not knowing it's actually just a print because OMG Boobs.

The plot involved some guys in skull masks busting into Selina Kyle's apartment while she's in a state of undress and we get to see her dress quickly in her Catwoman costume from various angles that best show off her breasts and butt.  We don't get to see her face until she is jumping out the window to her apartment, a cat carrier full of kittens in one hand, one of her bra-covered breasts popping out of the side of her half-worn costume.  Yeah, the cover kind of sets the tone for the entire book.  A book all about a woman using her sex appeal to seduce stupid criminals in some cape involving an otherwise worthless picture of a horse that the Russian Mafia wants.  Oh yeah and there's some meaningless sex between Selina and Batman.  In fact, the entire story is named after their sexual antics... which really just shows what this book is aiming at, tittilation for young men.

Not only is this offensive to women by relegating them to sex objects defined by their bodies but it should be insulting to men as well.  Do we really want to comics industry to see us as money machines they can squeeze for cash with the promise of cheap thrills like some "Gentleman's Club" champagne room of frustration and teasing?  Do they really think they can sell things like this to us because "guys like hot chicks, let's write a book with lots of sex about a hot chick"?  I'd like to think we like good stories and well-written characters be they men or women above cheap ploys like half-naked girls.

Worse, what does this say about Batman?  The way it comes across, he's not really involved in a relationship with Selina, he's just having sex with Catwoman.  It comes across as her seducing him and forcing him to submit to her but is that even reasonable with BATMAN?  Seriously, he can resist mind-control, hallucinogenic drugs, drowning, lack of sleep and overcome drug addiction by sheer force of will and we are expected to believe he's so weak around a hot chick in tight leather that he just lets her have her way with him?  And a known thief to boot?  I would like to think not.  This book is garbage and an insult to men as well as a vile depiction of women.

And that's the better of the two books....

Now, let's get to the main offender.  Red Hood and the Outlaws is a book about Batman's failed sidekick Jason Todd (who used to be the second Robin), Arsenal the formerly heroine addicted sidekick of Green Arrow and apparently their brainless sextoy bimbo who goes by the name of Starfire as they fight against random "bad" people, lounge around on the beach and talk about sex.  That seems the entire point of the book.  It's like the plot to a porn movie without showing us the sex.  That is how badly written this book is.  It suffers from the above criticisms for Catwoman and then some.  Seriously, when the introduce Starfire, it's with a nonsensical reference to her breast size followed by Arsenal asking "Is she with you?"  to which Red Hood replies, "With Us, Yeah.  But yeah, she's been "With" me."  God, is that what they think men are like, dickheads bragging about sexual conquests in the middle of a firefight?  

Worst of all, they have taken a character known for her joy for life who had good friends and strong relationships and stripped her down (Figuratively and literally) to a posing bikini model bimbo who offers to have sex with a man she just met and who cannot even remember the names or faces of the men she's slept with because 'all humans look alike to her.'  Seriously?  That makes NO FARKING SENSE AT ALL!  Aside from the green eyes and bad spray-on tan, Starfire looks like a person, a normal, super-sexily drawn person.  I could buy this argument if she was a shape-sihifting blob or a machine or something but that wouldn't be sexy at all.  So, they took a well-established character who had a decent backstory and history and turned her into a wish-fulfillment skank for the amusement of lonely teens and desperate older men who get their thrills from comics.  We should be ashamed that the industry throws crap like this at us and expects us to eat it up.  

Oh and really the only thing they kept from her backstory was that she was a slave at one point.  Guess they had to work the bondage angle in there somewhere.  *sigh*

What makes this really suck is that this is what people are going to talk about, these two books are going to define what people think of female characters in comics.  Even in the DC books we have better examples of good female characters.  Batwoman, for example, is a stunningly good book with fantastic art and a compelling lead who manages to be both sexy and interesting as a character.  Batgirl has potential for that as well and the new Supergirl comic is basically one big action fight scene with the Girl of Steel taking on an entire army and thrashing them without losing her costume or getting half-naked or throwing herself at some guy she just met.  Those are books I will keep reading.  This dreck dredged up from the masturbatory fantasies of a 13 year old boy may appeal on some stunted, backwards, entirely id-driven level but I would like to think I am better than that.

These books have my LOWEST Possible score and neither should be bought, read or supported.  If I could return them, I would.  Do yourself a favor and buy Batwoman or Supergirl instead.  Better yet, buy an extra copy and show it to people as an example of what mainstream super heroine comics can be. I hope both of these books die quickly and are never heard from again.  

And just because...

No idea what this commercial is for but I'm buying it..

Ah, Mexico.  I love you and not just for your awesome food and luchadores!

              BRING ON THE BAD GUYS!!!



I have always had a soft spot for the villains in comics.  They really are the ones who drive the action.  From the common street thug that murdered the Waynes and created Batman to the evil Asgardian god of fear currently running roughshod over the entire Marvel Universe, it's the villains that make the heroes do their acts of heroism.  Sure, they might have to deal with a flood or a fire or killer bees or a giant meteor heading towards the earth but are those the stories we remember best?  Heck no!  It's the time Superman got killed by Doomsday, the time the Joker murdered everyone on the set of the David Letterman show or when Norman Osbourne took over the Avengers and made a new team comprised entirely of baddies that we really remember.

You also cannot ignore that sometimes the villains, the bad guys, the dudes we are supposed to root against, get to have all the fun.  They get to act out on their baser instincts that we suppress every day.  They have a bad day at work and they shoot the annoying guy down the corner in the face.  They get cut off in traffic, they run the guy off the road or blow up his car.  All the things we can never do in real life but wish we sometimes could just to blow off steam, they get to do.  It's cathartic violence.

This I bring to you four books today from the new DCU that feature the villains.  I may be a bit generous in reviewing these books because of my fondness for villainy so take these with a grain of salt.

                          DEATH STROKE #1

Most people know Deathstroke from Teen Titans, either the classic Wolfman/Perez comic or the recent animated series (where he was just known as Slade).  Either way, he's a pretty famous villain in the DC Universe.  Slade Wilson a.k.a. Deathstroke the Terminator is a mercenary for hire.  He'll take any job no matter how messy as long as the price is right.  Altered to have enhanced reflexes, superior strength and combat skills that put him on par with Batman on his best days, Deathstroke is (as the comic says) "A Major Damn Badass."

Surprisingly of all the first issues I have read so far, Deathstroke #1 tells a nice, self-contained story that gives you a feel for who the character is, what he can do and where he fits into the world.  It doesn't have a to be continued blurb, doesn't leave you guessing as to what happens next and is the only book so far that just anyone can pick up, read and feel they've gotten a whole story.  That's good.

What isn't so good is that the book doesn't leave you feeling like you really WANT to follow this character.  He really has no redeeming qualities aside from his aforementioned badassitude.  He comes across as a jerk, a loner and a murdering asshole.  Let me explain.  Early in the story, Slade is given a job and given some teammates to work with.  To say they are a little green is an understatement.  They are n00bs in the world of mercenary work, three 20 somethings who call themselves The Alpha Dawgs (they chose that name over The Harmory).

They outfit Deathstroke with some new guns, tech and give him so intel and logistic support, all of which he begrudgingly accepts because he is being paid to do so.  The mission in relatively generic and of course, runs into some problems involving genetically modified soldiers.  In the end, of course, Deathstroke completes the contract, kills the enemies and then, in an act of utter contempt for his new allies, guns them all down with the weapons they made for him.  It's supposed to come across as a badass act of a loner but it just seems to me like some dick killing a bunch of annoying kids.

I like the character back in the old DCU but this version is going to stay a one issue wonder for me.

Only Recommended if you really like Slade.


                        DEMON KNIGHTS #1

Now this book was a surprise.  I didn't except anything from it, thought it would be a throwaway that I was just getting because of the deal I'm getting from Tribe Comics and Games but found it strangely compelling and interesting.

Here's the setup.  It's the Dark Ages, Camelot fell 400 years ago, the world is plagued by darkness and evil, nobility is barely known and the forces of chaos and magic hold sway over the land in the form of the foul wizard Mordru (Yes THE Mordru, enemy of the Justice Society of America and much later, the Legion of Super-Heroes).  Enter our "heroes".  Standing against the mystical might of Mordru and his mysterious Queen are; Jason Blood, the host of the Demon Etrigan who was bound to him during the fall of Camelot, Madame Xanadu who tried to take Excalibur as it was thrown into the waters after during the fall and thus she was cursed with immortality, the female Shining Knight Sir Ystin (who is very girlish in appearance) and the immortal Caveman who will later plague to heroes of the modern DCU, Vandal Savage.

What I like is how this book takes the conventions of the medieval fantasy genre and blends them in a mashup with DC characters we know.  It comes across as a D&D version of Secret Six.  The characters even meet in a tavern through sheer coincidence (or so it seems right now) in what has to be the hoariest of genre conventions.  Yet, they each have a role to play.  Jason Blood is the reluctant monster who can change into the fire-spewing, armored Etrigan by reciting a simple incantation, Madame Xanadu is apparently the mage of the group, Shining Knight is just that, a Knight and Vandal Savage is a hulking barbarian with an axe.  All the ingredients needed for a rip-roaring fantasy adventure.  Heck, by the end there are even dragons.

This is fun and a nice change of pace from the actual super-heroics going on in the other books without leaving me feeling cold like Men of War did.  My only complaint (and it's a big one to me) is that Etrigan apparently does not rhyme in this book.  Whether that is going to be explained or not, it bothers me.  Despite this annoyance, I am going to come back for at least a second helping of this amusing romp.

Recommended.

                          RED LANTERNS #1

I have been reading Green Lantern for a while now and though some of my friends are not big fans of the other Lantern Corps, I think it's a pretty neat idea.  I really enjoyed Blackest Night and was sort of glad to see that the characters introduced in that (and the series leading up to it) got to stay in the new DCU.  Heck, it seems the Green Lantern universe has been barely touched by the reboot in the least.  Then again, the entire basic cosmology of the Lantern backstory and the DCU as a whole was altered in the GL titles BEFORE the reboot so, there is that.   But of all the Lanterns introduced in the recent War of Light, I really like the Reds.  Powered by rage and anger, they oppose the Green Lanterns and the Sinestro Corps in equal measure, guided by their leader Atrocitus who blames the Guardians for the destruction of his entire Space Sector and Sinestro for his defeat when he first came to seek vengeance.

I can chock my entire love of the Reds to once character, Dex-Starr.  Who is Dex-Starr you might ask.  Well, this, my friends, is Dex-Starr.

Dex-Starr is the Red Lantern kitty cat.  He's not some kind of space cat, he's not super-intelligent or able to talk.  He's just a cat that had a really, really bad day, got really pissed off and attracted the attention of a Red Lantern ring.  Imagine that, a REALLY, REALLY angry kitty with the ability to kill you by shooting flaming napalm from his mouth.  Yeah, scary isn't it?  I love Dex-Starr.

And though this book is almost ENTIRELY setup and backstory for the Red Lanterns, the opening few pages where a horde of alien sadists confront first Dex-Starr and then Atrocitus himself (who enters with the best line ever spoken by a pissed-off Red space murderer "What Are You Doing To My Cat?") is worth the price of admission in my book.  The rest is merely letting the uninitiated know who these characters are and what they stand for.  It's nothing special, except for the opening.  Plus, the art is by Ed Benes, who I have really enjoyed ever since he did the last few issues of Peter David's Supergirl run.

Still, I will come back for more. If only to see the further adventures of death kitty with a power ring.

Recommended!

                         SUICIDE SQUAD #1

This has to be one of the most controversial books in the entire relaunch.  Not only is it a revival of a beloved title from the past, it features revamps of two characters with massive fan followings; Harley Quinn and Amanda Waller.  A lot of sites I have seen really, really, really hated this book.  I guess I stand in the minority when I say, I like it.  I like it a lot.

I did not read the original Suicide Squad (though I will if they ever bring our a Showcase volume or some trades) but the basic premise is known to me and remains intact.  Super villains are given a way to commute their sentences in exchange for being part of a government black ops unit.  Killers, mercenaries, assassins and psychopaths are told they can have their records wiped clean if they do what they do best for Uncle Sam.  Of course, there is a catch.  They don't call it the Suicide Squad for nothing.  To earn that Pardon you have to survive the missions you are given and obey orders.  Fail to obey and your handlers detonate the bomb in your body, killing you.

I won't go into too much detail on the plot here.  It's kind of a transparent bait and switch plot once you get into it but the story isn't what really grabbed me.  It's the premise and the characters.  I like the new Harley.  Sue me.  I just do.  I even like her new costume to a certain extent.  Here it is:

And yes, it's a total departure from her costume previously.  It's not the animated series costume in the least but this also isn't animated Harley.  This is a seriously messed up girl who got caught murdering people to try and win back her psychotic boyfriend who went missing.  She's a true wild card and I like that in her, I like that you have no idea what she might do on the team.  I also have a feeling she might be the one to last the longest.  Which is good.

The other characters I like in the first issue are Deadshot (though not so fond of his new costume) and King Shark, who I REALLY like the redesign of.  Before, he was kind of a Great White type thing, a really generic shark man.  Now, he's a Hammerhead and I've always loved the way those things look. So, yeah!

The new Amanda Waller is also a sticking point for people.  Before she was known as The Whale because she was a massive, solid block of muscle.  Now, she looks more like Pam Grier.  That's ok with me.  As long as she has the same basic personality and force of will, I can accept a little weight loss.  Not  deal killer for me at all.  Then again, I would read any book about a team of super-criminals doing wetworks operations.  That just appeals to me on some level.

I like this book though your mileage may very.

Cautiously recommended for those who aren't caught up in things having to be the way they used to.

Three books I will NOT be picking up issue 2 on...

                                                                            OMAC #1 




First things first, I NEVER liked the entire Brother Eye concept or how it was used in Infinite Crisis and I am REALLY not happy it got carried over into the new DCU.  The writing for this book just does not grab me and the art is trying much, much too hard to be Jack Kirbyesque.  I really hate the character design for the main character, that mow hawk is too huge and silly-looking and the costume is just a mess.  This really is the first book I've read in the new DCU I can say is just not even worth a look.  Skip it.

Men of War #1

This book is kind of the opposite of the problem I had with OMAC #1.  Both the writing and the art are good for what they are but the problem here is the subject matter.  I am just not all that interested in the adventures of soldiers fighting foreign wars in the DCU.  I don't read comics to see men with guns doing military maneuvers and fighting terrorists.  I get enough of that on the evening news (especially this week) and even the inclusion of what I assume is Superman in the first story really cannot convince me this book is for me.  Going to skip this one for now, though I may revisit it in trade if I hear good things about it from others.  I just cannot see why this book was one of the 3.99 titles.  It just doesn't feel like it deserves the same price point as Justice League #1.  

STORMWATCH #1

One of my biggest problems with the reboot is the inclusion of Wildstorm universe characters in the mainline DCU.  This is the first book to really touch on such characters and it just feels incredibly out of place among the other books, perhaps mores than Men of War.  The inclusion of the Martian Manhunter really doesn't help here either.  While the book is well-drawn and well-written, all of the characters come across as total jerks and unlikable, even MM.  I don't feel like this book really has a true place being in the DCU and I do not see a reason to have Apollo and the Midnighter around when Superman and Batman fill the EXACT same roles without coming across as bastards.  This is another book I would say read if you REALLY like Stormwatch or the Authority but if you like the more heroic types in the main DCU, then skip it.  So far, the fit between Wildstorm and the DCU really doesn't feel all that good.

It's a bird, it's a plane... it's damn good!

DC comics promised us a reboot to the universe, promised us a fresh new take on things and to do this, they have taken a GIANT leap backwards.  How?  Well, they've given us back the Superman who first appeared in the original Action Comics #1 way back in 1938.  This isn't the Superman who fights against Bizarro, the Parasite or Mongul.  This is the Superman who fights against corrupt officials, slumlords, wife beaters and the rich who prey on the poor and desperate.  This is a man who has great powers and uses them to right the wrongs of the little guy because that's what he SHOULD do.  He's a social conscience in jeans, a cape and a blue t-shirt.

This is a breath of fresh air to me, the kind of book I was hoping it would be. Grant Morrison has always had a way of recreating the old as is evidenced by his run on Batman where he wove stories based on almost forgotten tales from the Gold and Silver Ages into a compelling narrative woven into the modern continuity (or rather the continuity that once was now).  His All-Star Superman run was a fantastic update of the Silver Age version of the character and now, his all-new run on Action creates a Golden Age Superman for the modern age.

This Superman cannot fly yet but only leap tall buildings in a single-bound.  He is faster than a speeding bullet and (probably) more powerful than a locomotive, though that last is left a little in doubt by the end of the issue.  Sure, he has the heat and x-ray vision powers that would be given him later but this really feels like the original Superman from the late 30s.  The story even makes reference to one of his oldest adventures, where the would-be Man of Steel beat up a man who was a habitual wife-beater.

The script by Grant Morrison is a fun, fast read aided by the art of Rags Morales who really gets to play with the Superman/Clark Kent difference in the way he draws the two characters.  Superman is all action, a dynamic force of change while Clark is a slumping nebbish in too-large clothes who plays the schlub to perfection and works for the rival of the Daily Planet while maintaining a friendship with a lowly photo hound from that paper by the name of Jimmy Olsen.

Lex Luthor makes an appearance as well and really makes an interesting comparison between Superman and the invasive species that have devastated native ecologies on our own planet.  You actually feel his concern that the presence of this incredibly powerful alien being might somehow spell the beginning of the end for humanity as we know it.  At the same time, he comes across as aloof, arrogant and just the kind of corrupt, ruthless character this Superman Of The People would despise.  I cannot wait to see the first face to face meeting between these two.

As with the Justice League book, this tale is told in the past of the new DCU.  We have yet to see a book set in the new present, which I find a little strange but if this is the kind of groundwork being laid for the future of the entire Superman Family of books, I cannot wait to see how it plays out.  This is a far, far better book than Justice League and comes with my HIGHEST POSSIBLE RECOMMENDATION!  BUY THIS BOOK!  BUY IT NOW!!!!